The Duct Tape Tips of the Week
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Thanks to a dedicated horde of fans, Gary's weekly Duct Tape Tips continue to push duct-tape innovation while providing an obvious public service to Mainers. Please click on the roll of duct tape, or email us at humor@garycrocker.com, to send us your duct tape tips.
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Here are some of our favorite tips we've received to-date.
Vic Berardelli from Newburgh
I was almost ready to find out whether there is a couch in the trailer in West Gardiner for husbands who screw-up the HoneyDo List. The Ever Lovely and Always Talented Mrs. Vic indicated that I shouldn't be able to watch football and drink beer (sorry but beer goes better with football than Moxie) unless I threw the pile of firewood down the hatch into the cellar.
So, I was doing my duties Saturday morning when one of the logs bounced off the edge of the cellar gangway and hit a hanging plumbing pipe, causing a slight leak. Now the Ever Lovely and Always Talented Mrs. Vic was due home from shopping at any moment. I didn't have time to call a plumber.
I took duct tape and wrapped it around the section of the pipe with the cracked joint. This stopped the leak but, that's not the Duct Tape Tip. That is just logical use of the husband's best friend in a panic - Duct Tape.
Now for the Duct Tape Tip: The Ever Lovely and Always Talented Mrs. Vic knows that Duct Tape is used to cover up my many husbandly screw-ups. So, I took the cheap, black electrician's tape and wrapped it around the Duct Tape. That way, should the Ever Lovely and Always Talented Mrs. Vic venture down the creaky cellar stairs, she will see the black tape instead of the Duct Tape and assume that a professional did the job.
Now that, Mister Man, is quick thinking with Duct Tape.
Larry Dakin from Thorndike
My son-in-law and I had to put a new liner in my above ground pool. After we took out the old one we decided to re-design the profile on the sand in the bottom for ease of cleaning, to make a deep section and a sand shelf for the removable stairs.
We needed something to work the sand with that would be semi-ridged, so we took a gravel rake, the type with heavy tines and a flat front, and wrapped it with duct tape and used it to work the sand around. It worked very well and lasted till we were done.
The profiling worked out well and we are enjoying the pool a lot this year now that the spring rains have let up and the black flies are gone.
Keith from Rockport
If you drop a wingnut and it goes under the kitchen range say 23 inches, and you can only reach 22 inches, just wad up some duct tape, put it on the end of a hanger and poke around under the range. Along with the hair, dust and old coins that have collected under there over the years- you will have the missing wingnut!
Don't wrap a leaky garden hose with duct tape. It won't seal the leak no matter how much you use. And especially- Don't try to wrap a power washer with it! It will shoot right out through the Duct Tape and if it is aimed just right you could put an eye out. - remember SAFETY FIRST!
Scott from Chelsea
A co-worker (from Portland since retired to Florida) had a conference in Beantown. His wife told him that he had to be back home on time because it was his son's 6th birthday. Well, as luck would have it the conference got out a little early so he started heading home. It was the Friday before Christmas and everything was closing up early. About 5 miles outside of Boston his muffler clamps broke. As luck would have it no garages were open, but he spotted a Pharmacy that was open. He went inside for assistance and the only thing they could recommend was a Hotel room and a bottle of cough syrup. On his way out of the store mumbling nice things to the people, he spotted a display of Duct Tape. He thought maybe it could get him at least to New Hampshire so at least his wife could come and pick him up. He bought 5 rolls of tape, all different colors. Well he wrapped and wrapped and wrapped and took off for parts North. He averaged approximately 75 miles a taping (according to my friend the red averaged 100 miles to a taping) Not only did he get home on time, but he also had some Duct Tape LEFT OVER!
Bill from Canaan
New Year's Day was very slippery and I had to go down to feed the chickens. I didn't want to fall so I wrapped Duct Tape around my boots with the sticky side out and then stomped in the cat litter. I went down and fed the chickens with no problem- worked like a dream. Wife's not too happy though. Cat's litter box is in the bathroom and I had to track through the bedroom to get outside. Guess she doesn't appreciate ingenuity!
Representative Rod Carr from Lincoln
Representative Carr drove by a car last week and saw what he thought was someone fighting on top of it. Being a former State Trooper he turned around and went back to see what was going on. It turns out there had been a deer/car accident and the deer had been given to a young fella who didn't have any rope to tie the deer to his car. So he put all 4 windows down, dragged the deer up onto the top of the car and then wrapped Duct Taper over the deer; passed it through the car; through the front and back windows; about 10 times. I guess the deer was safe and secure for the 45 mph ride to his home.
Mike from Edgecomb
Not exactly my idea- learned this one while serving on Aircraft Carrier in the Navy.
This Duct Tape tip is to prevent property damage when mother is late coming home to watch "Oprah" , and wheels the Ram Charger into the driveway on two wheels, locks em up, and slides through the driveway and into the leech field- that is never a good thing!
Well 1st take two poplars about 16 feet long and bury them 8 feet in the ground and about 8 feet apart at the end of the driveway.
Now use several rolls of Duct Tape make a large net between the posts.
When Mother wheels into the driveway, if she overshoots, she'll slide into the net and come to a stop. (the poplars are flexible enough, they'll bend)
If she's going real fast she may punch through the net for a distance and tear off a wiper or a mirror or two but hey you got plenty of Duct Tape right???
And on Sundays it makes a corker of a volley ball net!
Annonymous Tip
Think ahead- order your new vehicle in Duct Tape grey! That way the inevitable Duct Tape repair will be invisible to the naked eye!
Orene from Belfast
Motto- It Ain't broke till the Duct Tape falls off!
Karen
A couple of months ago I was driving home from work (Augusta) and saw something I have never seen before. Someone had the hood of their car taped down with Duct Tape. I would assume that the hood latch was broken but I thought this is a good quick fix and not very costly.
Ellen from Winthrop
If you are on a diet and the rest of your family is not, put all of their snacks into the refrigerator and tape the doors shut with Duct Tape. Every time you want something, removing the tape will make so much noise that it will alert the rest of the family and you will not eat what you are trying not to.
Are you one of those lucky individuals whose address has changed several times due to the new 911 enhancement? Attach your new numbers to your mailbox with Duct Tape. It will stay on much better that the adhesive backing on those store bought numbers.
Chandra from Augusta
You only need two things to make all repairs around the house, WD-40 and Duct Tape. The WD-40 is for things that should move but don't and the Duct Tape is for things that move but shouldn't!
Heather from Camden
Her beautiful 1 year old child, and my great niece, occasionally throws her bowls of food across the kitchen. While it creates some interesting art work on the floors and walls, you can only stand so much art even if you do live in Camden. So Heather now Duct Tapes the food bowl to the table and the spoon to the child's hand. Now the artwork's much smaller!
'Muthuh' from the Trailer in West Gardiner
As you all know we now have a moon roof in the trailer. Well, Muthuh enjoys lounging in her recliner and gazing up through that moon roof watchin the seagulls gliding around and there's lots of em because' as you know, we live right handy to the transfer station! The only thing that bugged her was that she kept missing important stuff Oprah was saying cause she was staring straight up! That's when she says, "Get the Duct Tape! I've got an idea!" We now have a big screen T.V. duct taped to the ceiling of the trailer, right next to the moon roof. Now she can watch Oprah and the seagulls at the same time. Life just got better for me and Muthhu.
That rippin and tearing sound at night is starting to make me a tad nervous though.
Catherine from Winslow
I was at work last Monday listening to Maine in the Morning on my walkman radio when my right earphone started cutting out! Rather than spend the $10.00 and buy a new set that is liable to also break after two months I cracked open the headphones and examined the electrical wiring. Sure enough, the inferior Korean solder job had broken and I knew once I got the little devils home I could fix 'em right up with my soldering iron. But since it was early in the morning and I was going to have to make the new connection last the day, I got out my trusty Duct Tape and stuck the wire onto the solder point. It held fast for the rest of the day!
Steve from Mt. Vernon
This past Saturday, mutha removed my favorite flannel shirt from the clothesline, folded it neatly and placed it carefully on the chair cushion so not to show wrinkles when I wear it to the weekly bean suppah at the Grange hall. Feeling spiffy clean from my weekly shower and shave, I always look forward to putting on that shirt that some people say makes me look just like that handsome fellow, Marty Ingstrom. Well, this night my old yellow tomcat "Pokey" was laying fast asleep on my shirt as I reached for it and left behind half his hair stuck to my shirt when he leaped in terror from the cry of anguish that I let out. After explaining to Mutha, in no uncertain terms, the position I was in, she immediately knew what to do. She went over to the shade on the window and removed the duct tape that covered the hole in it and like one of those fancy hair removers that you see at Mardens; she pressed the sticky side of the tape to my shirt and began removing all of that cat hair. Well Mr. Man, within minutes I was lookin as handsome as "Marty on the mountain" and we were on our way to the suppah at the Grange hall.
Bill
Duct Tape's greatest use for UnRegistered Maine guides is for taping the dynamite together when you fish for trout during the spawning season. This action also helps to break up the ice to facilitate early spring fishin.
Chris from Skowhegan
This tip was prompted by something that has aggravated all of us from time to time - its wicked simple but highly effective!
Watching television programs, every channel now has that nagging station logo at the bottom, right-hand corner. Take a small patch of Duct Tape (black or light gray) and place it over the logo. Duct Tape to the rescue once again!
Senator Gagnon from Waterville
You know how the new cars and trucks have a computer to tell you when something is wrong? They check a multitude of things in the engine and sometimes when they can't find anything but you know your car dealer needs a little extra cash, it gives you the signal: SERVICE ENGINE SOON!
That's right, that annoying light on your dash panel comes on despite the fact that the engine sounds just fine, the automobile is just purring perfectly. Well, I don't want to be paying some local car dealer just to reset the computer so I came up with my Duct Tape Tip of the Week.
You see, you trace a circle on the duct tape about the size of a quarter. Cut out the circle of Duct Tape and place it neatly over the annoying SERVICE ENGINE SOON light. The silvery tape looks just like a knob from your radio or other automotive devices. It blends right in and that troublesome light goes away- wicked smart!
Bud from Hallowell
If you need to trim those higher branches from trees blocking your view of the highway, or need to make a higher cut in the process of felling a tree across your outhouse and your saw isn't long enough:
1st get a 24 foot extension ladder (retracted) and bungee cord your chainsaw to the end so the blade sticks up;
2nd start the saw, rev it up a few times, then Duct Tape the throttle down cause you won't be able to reach it while our tryin to wiggle the ladder around;
3rd now you should be able to reach the limb you want to cut;
4th if you still can't reach the limb in question, you can start extending the ladder till it does reach.
CAUTION: Use of this trimming method could lead to eligibility for the 'Darwin Award'!
